Being early, I 'floated' around looking for the best place to sit, view and enjoy the narration of the supper. Somehow, the Lord did not permit me to just sit anywhere but he had reserved a special place for me. I ended up at the place of honour at the table. The place to the left of Jesus......
It was a place, not only of honour, but held great meaning. Not only was I next to the master of the banquet, I was also in the place of Judas Iscariot, the one who was to betray him. I was having mixed emotions... I knew the Lord has a revealation for me... I just had to wait for it...
It was only when the supper was almost over that Jesus (Fr Terence), explained that Judas was forgiven the moment when he dipped into the same dish with Jesus, when Jesus handed him the bread. There was no doubt to him about it. Was this the reason that his guilt became too great for him to bear and that is why he hung himself?
I was reflecting on this event and how I ended up in the seat of honour. There are many times that I felt like Judas, because of my many shortcomings and struggle with sin. There are so many people out there who are more worthy than me yet I am being called to the Seminary.
What did Jesus see in me that deem me worthy to be where I am now? I thought and pondered and reflected... and I cannot come up with any decent convincing answer.... except one... If he loves me enough to die for me, isn't that enough?
... if only we understood ...
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